If you have a teacher in your life, go give him or her a big fat hug. The beginning of the school year has been the most stressful part of the job, so far. There are so many things to do, plan, prepare, and learn. You have 23 new faces to get to know and love and figure out. You have open house, meet the teacher, rules and routines, procedures, fire drills, and classroom decor to set up. You have five year olds who have never been in a classroom and twelve year olds who act like they haven’t. October come quickly.
In the last few weeks I’ve had clusters of migraines. I have managed my headaches well for the past few years with diet, but these have blindsided me–literally. Spotty vision, slurred speech, confusion, numb arms and face. All typical migraine auras, but scary nonetheless. I’m ready to send them on their way.
Today, I took an early-out from work to go to the doctor. As I made my way there, I stopped by Sonic for a happy hour strawberry limeade. I was able to listen to my favorite podcast without interruption. I read a book in the waiting room in peace and quiet. No one yelling “Mrs. Dumas” or “Mom”. Our ladies’ Bible study group just finished a book study on Annie F. Downs’ Remember God. In it she referred to Jacob in the Bible, when he wrestled with God, asking for a blessing, and had a permanent limp as a result (Genesis 32:22-32). Annie quotes John Ortberg, saying that “maybe the limp was his blessing”. Jacob’s limp was the result of an encounter with God, which changed his name, and his life, forever. Anyone who has been in a season of grief and struggle knows that it changes you forever. When you cling to God in those moments, it will prove to be a sweet time of healing and closeness. It doesn’t heal you without a scar, without a limp, but it heals you and helps you put one foot in front of the other, once again.
I thought about my migraines, my limp, today. My headache yesterday caused me to pause and rest during recess yesterday. It was the first day all year that we split for duty, actually taking a few minutes to take a break. I turned off the lights in my classroom, laid my head on my reading pillows, and closed my eyes. My headache caused me to make a doctors’ appointment today and leave a little early, taking some quiet time in the car, time to refresh with a treat, and sit alone for a few minutes. My headache yesterday gave me time and words to blog after over a month of silence. I thought as I drove, “This limp was a blessing”.
I feel with every migraine my words are affected. It takes me longer to recall a word. My vision feels a little off for a few days or weeks after an attack. My nerves are on edge with every flashing light or arm that has fallen asleep. My limp. But I have a God who once took migraines away for an entire year. I have a God who has answered my prayer to remove the pain. I have a God, who in His kindness, forced me to stop and slow down today, to realize that stress was getting the best of me. In my absence of words, He gave them to me.
I sit here in my quiet living room, not taking it for granted. Not letting it slip past that God has begged me to rest. Commanded me to rest. In the midst of so much to do, I can’t afford to keep going. I will rest, and the rest will fall into place. I’m hopeful that this cluster is behind me. I see the problem, and I’m prayerfully seeking the solution. In the meantime, if you hear my refer to the “thingy” or call Target “Walmart”, just point me in the right direction.
“Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you healed me.” Psalm 30:2 CSB
“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me, and I will be saved, for you are my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14 CSB
Jesus and Jello 