I don’t always hide my feelings well. My face tends to say it all- good or bad; but more often than not, my words say a lot too. I often speak about how I want my kids to be good winners and good losers. I want them to accept what comes their way and roll with the punches. Do as I say, not as I do, boys. I tend to let the smallest of frustrations set me off, especially when it comes to a rule that I don’t understand or a technicality. Case in point: baseball.
The other day, my son’s teammate tagged a player out on his way to first base. The ball touched this boy’s arm, and then the ball was dropped, deeming the out back in. To me, and my professional baseball opinion, the kid was tagged. What comes after shouldn’t matter. But it did. I was a little indignant. I flippantly dismissed the rule as nonsense. Meanwhile, my son was enjoying his time on the field. Soaking up his last game and standing with his glove open, ready to seize the opportunity. I was stuck in a play that happened five minutes ago, while the kids on the field were onto the next batter. We lost the game– not because of that out, we just lost. I was sad for my son’s team. I was hoping that the team we just played wouldn’t win the whole tournament, and I was anything but a good sport. Outside I brushed it off as “that’s baseball”, but inside (and a little vocally), I was still reeling.
For such a little hiccup in the course of the day, I ruminated on it. I let one minor event change my mood. I don’t want to be that way! I want to be the Proverbs 31 woman who “can laugh at the time to come” and return to tending to my household. I want what I tell the boys to be true of their mom as well.
Lucky for me, I have plenty of baseball games ahead of me to practice what I preach. More than that, I have life ahead of me where things are guaranteed to go in favor of others over me, where things won’t go the way I want, where life won’t always be fair. More than a quick fix to these, my prayer is for my heart to openly accept what God places in front of me. I want to be ready for the curveballs, if you will. My baby steps might be taken in the bleachers or how I react to less than thrilling news. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” Things that get me riled up are fleeting. I hear mamas yell at their boys at bat, “Settle down out there!” and that’s exactly what I need to do myself.
I know for sure that trying to fix it on my own is setting myself up for failure. Just like a player needs a coach, I need to go to the Word when I’m stuck in my feelings. I need to meditate rather than ruminate. I need to sing His praises rather than tear others down. It won’t always go my way, and that’s okay. You win some, you lose some. That’s baseball. That’s life.