I had plans to blog about waiting this morning. I had some words on my heart, and some ideas I’d been contemplating for a day or so. I knew I’d be refreshed when I woke up, so I got cozy, opened the laptop and got ready to write. Only, I had a feeling that I had written those words before. They were suddenly feeling familiar. I used the search feature on my site, and lo and behold, I had written a blog about waiting already. In fact, some of the words I had floating in my head were words I had already written.
It was clear to me that God needed me to read those words this morning. Some of the same situations I wrote about two years ago are situations I am finding myself in again today. Waiting is hard, and sometimes it makes us forget.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty forgetful. I would be worried that it’s an age thing, but I’ve forgotten things my whole life. Be it homework, a test, an appointment, or something else important, sometimes things just slip my mind. I have a weekly meeting- same time, same place, every week- and I forget it every now and then. I get to checking my work emails, checking out my census for the day, planning my interactions, and the next thing I know the meeting is over and done with, without a single thought of it. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I didn’t attend until the next day.
Sometimes, I find myself getting ready for work on a Thursday, and I realize I didn’t bring a prize to a patient on Wednesday. Talk about feeling like a loser!
On a different note, I forget the roads I’ve been on. When I am waiting on something to happen, I tend forget about God’s goodness. I get so frustrated as I wait, that I forget that I’ve been there before. I’ve played waiting games. Sometimes I play them gracefully, and sometimes I stumble to the finish line, but God always shows Himself in the waiting. He always comes through, even if it looks different that my original plan.
But I forget that.
As friends are waiting for results or medical decisions, I wonder, “Why is this happening?”. As I’m waiting for answers, waiting for the time to pass, I question the silence. As we wait for a hurricane to make landfall, I fear, “What are those people going to do?”. We have been here before, and God was there, too.
I make things harder on myself because I forget that God has been with me the whole time. I forget that in the most devastating moments of my life, in the most boring days, in the moments when I’m so frustrated I can’t see straight, God is there; He always has been, and He will continue to be.
On Wednesday at church, we talked about Jesus coming back. We had to rank how often we think about it happening on a scale of 1-10. I put 5. I forget about it, as embarrassing as that is to say. I forget that He promised to come back one day. That this life is “like a vapor”, according to James 4:14. I look at my problems and get so stressed out, so overwhelmed, and I forget that most of these things have an expiration date. If Jesus were to come back in the middle of them, it wouldn’t matter a single bit. I forget that He cares about the little things, and wants to carry the burden for me (1 Peter 5:7).
We simply cannot forget God. There’s no way we can make it through the waiting without Him. Whether you’re waiting on healing or an answer or the inevitable, remember Who has gone before you, Who has been there every single time, and Who will be with you when you find yourself in this position again.
If you’re interested in reading what I planned on writing, click here.